next time we / portal to soft re/orientations
Charlie Lee
6
March 2024
6
March
2024
This text is presented alongside the exhibition Fade Into U by Andrea Illés and Stacey Collee as part of the Seventh Gallery Emerging Writers’ Program 2024.
A note from Charlie Lee
What started with becoming more familiar with Andrea and Stacey’s work prior to their Seventh Gallery show grew into discovering a deep starting point for these words. The previous writings evolved primarily from their month-long activation at Blindside Gallery in the CBD. I’d love to extend thanks to the teams at Blindside and Seventh Gallery, alongside Ange Glindemann for the pairing, and Andrea and Stacey for the rich conversation to follow.
Next time we
Red ribbon filings gently grate, by way of scissors across a metal bed frame
Grated, they too continue to curl
Softly around the sand, some sensual impression
Brief contact
Soft rubbings
A metal spring mattress leaves cuts and nicks across bodies
But also scratches other fleshes,
Perhaps more gentle
A microphone utters across a ground
Perhaps more gentle
A sequin dresses across a bed frame
Perhaps more gentle
A sand paths across a floor
Perhaps more gentle
A finger across a button
A splash across a lip
Murmur across an air
Hope across a desire
Numbness across a grief
Lens across a body
Tide across a shore
Grain across a wave
An afterthought of the moon, the sand from the under/commons too takes aim at the tide. A soft resistance enabled by that which it aims to control. Information from within sands washed across oceans transmuting information of past forms. Aged mountains and rocks mutter stories and hopes, although now the order of happenings has been muddled by the tides.
Water across a cheek
Trolley across a path
Construction across a window
Landing across a chair
Guesses across a nostalgia
Uncertainty across a gaze
Wishing across a want
Operatic across an excess
Overture across a mutter
I would like to track the journey of a single grain of sand as it exists now
I understand in its breaking apart that my eyes may struggle to glimpse it as it grows small
I wonder if my touch or eyes will lose track of it first
A soft rubbing or a gentle refraction of light
Of course, to cease to know where it is is not to think it is gone
A gaze that extends beyond sight or touch is one led by knowing
Bristle across an arrangement
Gathering across a collection
Fabric across a wrist
Ladder across a horizontal
Ornament across a hope
Illegible across a poem
Release across a leaking
Speculation also takes aim
Conspiracy flutters as winds blow sand into edges and nooks
Perhaps this unseeable grain of sand, a fugitive hope, has entered into a lens
Images blemished with kisses that scratch
Or scratches that kiss
I suppose there’s no way of knowing if this blemish is
the same as the grain of sand I began with
Opening across a stretch
Guessing across a pose
Listening across an image
Ripping across a wearing
Softness across a metal
Kinks across a cable
Wheels across a concrete
Insistence across a pushing
Knowing across an action
Phrase across a bar
Dew across a rooftop
Opening across a hallway
Portals to soft re/orientations
'I said goodbye and I was out the door in a flash, into the train going uptown ... it was always a shock entering the straight world of cars full of grim people sitting dumbly with suffering on their faces and in their bodies, and their minds in their prisons.'
John Giorno in Muñoz, Cruising Utopia1
I had a similar experience leaving Remember Me Remember Me. I had spent the past two hours on the 7th floor of an inner-city building and existed in what felt like an out-of-time-out-of-space world. Upon my descent to Swanston Street, I returned to a world with a singular choreography. Like Giorno, I felt shocked, closed in. Streets arranged for 9-to-5 commuters, cashed up tourists, coffee dates. The world, built for and oriented towards certain bodies, schedules, and lifestyles. Existence within a single dimension.
Using Purcell’s opera Dido & Aeneas as a starting point, Andrea Illés and Stacey Collee adapted and un/made this narrative into a four-week-long iterative rehearsal. Using the gallery as a stage, mythology and autobiography blurred as lines of desire, tragic love, and yearning crossed into each other. An evolving chimera of performance forms inhabited the space. Choreography, pop covers, live photography, and noise overlapped and opened portals into worlds of memory and desire.
Sand piles between seams and shoelaces untie
A sequin dress contains multitudes when
Tag still on, the fabric stretches so much
Through their activation of the gallery, the pair imbued lines of gaze with grief, yearning, love, directing them into the future, toward the past, within the gallery space, or beyond a shoreline; the construction site clambering outside the window. Particularly enchanting, their gaze rarely extended to the audience in the room. Their lines of viewing stopped short just before reaching a viewer, or instead looked through and beyond, aspiring toward an indeterminate elsewhere or elsewhen. There was an acknowledgement of those in the space, but the performance was not for them. Seldom did the performance embrace the present, or a singular present at least; the spatial dimensions of the room were likewise pushed: The pair would climb into the upper corners of the room like moths towards a lamp. Blinds shut and opened, and objects placed in nooks previously unnoticed.
Sand works its way in, held by the fibres that
Undressed, the elastic relaxes and the sand remains
Emptied out of an old shoe
Queerness is characterised as a 'warm illumination of a horizon imbued with potentiality' in José Esteban Muñoz's Cruising Utopia2. It is the rejection of the here and now, turning instead to the then and there. Ultimately it is a ceaseless negation of the present, a drawing from the past to imagine an alternate future. Utopia is not about arrival but instead about making home in hopeful indeterminacy. To trust and believe so deeply in something ephemeral—and unseeable. What’s invisible cannot be seen. The unseeable holds more hope; it may be found and enacted, and perhaps somewhere it already is/has been. A more tangible invisibility. Multiple paths towards the future are superimposed on top of each other, all existing beyond seeing. To make home within the indeterminacy of superposition allows new worlds to be imagined, in which desires and charged yearnings can be enacted3.
Illés and Collee conjured a performative quality that pulled from the past to evoke, and gesture towards, a futurity beyond the here and now. The word 'saudade' comes to mind: a melancholic longing for a beloved something, the love that remains. Traces, sands, hauntings imbued with yearning. Assembled footage, read-out conversations, repeated actions, and an ensemble of found objects. The performance layered these traces within each other, blurring memory and desire, creating worlds and sanctuaries within a conjured-up indeterminacy.
The re-performing of actions, bodies, text conversations and pop-song arias is never completed. Re/enacting, re/creating, re/imagining these traces invoke a performance that is drenched in, and yearning for, futurity.
Within the sand lies red ribbon filings from the bed which
We spend an awful lot of time
Waiting so may as well prepare it
In advance by taking a pair of scissors and peeling
The re/performing of utopian desire and hope gestures through and beyond exhaustion, metal-spring imprints, grief, pain, and physical space. In rejecting a singular space-time so insistently, the lines between pain, hope, and pleasure become blurred. In Illés and Collee’s performance, the act of scraping red paint off the bed frame with a pair of scissors stuck out to me. The noise, jarring at first, soon felt commonplace. Red paint spirals fell like ribbons, mixed with the sand underneath the bed like washed-up sea debris. This un/familiarity was un/comfortable. Why would this bed need to be scraped clean? This act opened a portal to another possibility, one where desire and care take a different form. In peering through this frame, this performance drew attention to the frayed edges of our world, an unveiling. Our 'world; is just one of many potentials. The longer that these portals—potentials—are held open, the more our ontological knowledge of the world is uprooted, and ephemeral, indeterminate worlds beyond can seep in through the cracks.
The paint tends to land in patterns
In the sand until the detritus makes its way in
To a bag which gets filled
The implications of writing a piece like this troubled me initially – would its publishing be complicit in cementing this work inside a singular time/space, an unavoidable permanency? Sensing a problematic, if not reductive, inflexible reliance on photography and writing within archives, which can often feel deeply static, I felt a duty to allow Remember Me Remember Me to keep existing within the indeterminate ephemeral world it had built.
Working within a frame with deep associations and material limitations doesn’t mean we can’t still gesture towards an elsewhere. Although we can’t yet enter the portals we open, that doesn’t stop whatever they hold from seeping their way into our world. Two things can exist on top of each other, and both be true. Illés and Collee, too, gesture towards portals, offering glimpses into worlds of yearning and desire, charged with potentiality. These fired kernels haunt the spaces we inhabit and re/orient our associations with the world.
With sand and traces that pour
The day I attended the performance, I felt this charge even before the pair entered the space. It held a sense of in-progress, a happening, a leaving in a hurry The assembled items held just as much memory and insistence as the artists themselves. Illés and Collee wrestled with a sharp spring mattress, the same mattress wrestling with them in return. Leaving imprints on bodies and grazes across feet.
Even without their bodies in the room, an aliveness traced the space beyond the performance. The atmospherics had been altered, or perhaps haunted. Perhaps in attuning ourselves to these traces, we become more capable of building maps and portals to other worlds.
Traces that pour out
Through the holes we knew were always there
Normative orientations are built on a series of lines that have been lived on, trampled across, and cemented in flat tarmac4. Swanston Street, a world with a singular choreography.
Remember Me Remember Me redirected these associations, drawing overlapping maps to portals imbued with futurity. Witnessing the space in action, assumed associations between the items in the performance and their uses were altered. Queer, temporal, and dis/re/orienting performance has the potential to rewire our connections with the world, and provide a glimpse into infinite new ones, superimposed on top of each other. The re/figuration of bodies and objects gestures beyond the gallery into the minds, untied shoelaces, and sandy shoes of those who visited.
1. José Esteban Muñoz, "2. Ghosts of Public Sex: Utopian Longings, Queer Memories" In Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity (New York: NYU Press, 2009), 39.
2. José Esteban Muñoz, "Introduction: Feeling Utopia" In Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity (New York: NYU Press, 2009), 1.
3. Karen Barad, "TransMaterialities: Trans*/Matter/Realities and Queer Political Imaginings". GLQ, 21, 2–3 (June 2015): 396.
4. Sarah Ahmed, Queer Phenomenology: Orientations, Objects, Others, (United States: Duke University Press, 2006).
This text is presented alongside the exhibition Fade Into U by Andrea Illés and Stacey Collee as part of the Seventh Gallery Emerging Writers’ Program 2024.
A note from Charlie Lee
What started with becoming more familiar with Andrea and Stacey’s work prior to their Seventh Gallery show grew into discovering a deep starting point for these words. The previous writings evolved primarily from their month-long activation at Blindside Gallery in the CBD. I’d love to extend thanks to the teams at Blindside and Seventh Gallery, alongside Ange Glindemann for the pairing, and Andrea and Stacey for the rich conversation to follow.
Next time we
Red ribbon filings gently grate, by way of scissors across a metal bed frame
Grated, they too continue to curl
Softly around the sand, some sensual impression
Brief contact
Soft rubbings
A metal spring mattress leaves cuts and nicks across bodies
But also scratches other fleshes,
Perhaps more gentle
A microphone utters across a ground
Perhaps more gentle
A sequin dresses across a bed frame
Perhaps more gentle
A sand paths across a floor
Perhaps more gentle
A finger across a button
A splash across a lip
Murmur across an air
Hope across a desire
Numbness across a grief
Lens across a body
Tide across a shore
Grain across a wave
An afterthought of the moon, the sand from the under/commons too takes aim at the tide. A soft resistance enabled by that which it aims to control. Information from within sands washed across oceans transmuting information of past forms. Aged mountains and rocks mutter stories and hopes, although now the order of happenings has been muddled by the tides.
Water across a cheek
Trolley across a path
Construction across a window
Landing across a chair
Guesses across a nostalgia
Uncertainty across a gaze
Wishing across a want
Operatic across an excess
Overture across a mutter
I would like to track the journey of a single grain of sand as it exists now
I understand in its breaking apart that my eyes may struggle to glimpse it as it grows small
I wonder if my touch or eyes will lose track of it first
A soft rubbing or a gentle refraction of light
Of course, to cease to know where it is is not to think it is gone
A gaze that extends beyond sight or touch is one led by knowing
Bristle across an arrangement
Gathering across a collection
Fabric across a wrist
Ladder across a horizontal
Ornament across a hope
Illegible across a poem
Release across a leaking
Speculation also takes aim
Conspiracy flutters as winds blow sand into edges and nooks
Perhaps this unseeable grain of sand, a fugitive hope, has entered into a lens
Images blemished with kisses that scratch
Or scratches that kiss
I suppose there’s no way of knowing if this blemish is
the same as the grain of sand I began with
Opening across a stretch
Guessing across a pose
Listening across an image
Ripping across a wearing
Softness across a metal
Kinks across a cable
Wheels across a concrete
Insistence across a pushing
Knowing across an action
Phrase across a bar
Dew across a rooftop
Opening across a hallway
Portals to soft re/orientations
'I said goodbye and I was out the door in a flash, into the train going uptown ... it was always a shock entering the straight world of cars full of grim people sitting dumbly with suffering on their faces and in their bodies, and their minds in their prisons.'
John Giorno in Muñoz, Cruising Utopia1
I had a similar experience leaving Remember Me Remember Me. I had spent the past two hours on the 7th floor of an inner-city building and existed in what felt like an out-of-time-out-of-space world. Upon my descent to Swanston Street, I returned to a world with a singular choreography. Like Giorno, I felt shocked, closed in. Streets arranged for 9-to-5 commuters, cashed up tourists, coffee dates. The world, built for and oriented towards certain bodies, schedules, and lifestyles. Existence within a single dimension.
Using Purcell’s opera Dido & Aeneas as a starting point, Andrea Illés and Stacey Collee adapted and un/made this narrative into a four-week-long iterative rehearsal. Using the gallery as a stage, mythology and autobiography blurred as lines of desire, tragic love, and yearning crossed into each other. An evolving chimera of performance forms inhabited the space. Choreography, pop covers, live photography, and noise overlapped and opened portals into worlds of memory and desire.
Sand piles between seams and shoelaces untie
A sequin dress contains multitudes when
Tag still on, the fabric stretches so much
Through their activation of the gallery, the pair imbued lines of gaze with grief, yearning, love, directing them into the future, toward the past, within the gallery space, or beyond a shoreline; the construction site clambering outside the window. Particularly enchanting, their gaze rarely extended to the audience in the room. Their lines of viewing stopped short just before reaching a viewer, or instead looked through and beyond, aspiring toward an indeterminate elsewhere or elsewhen. There was an acknowledgement of those in the space, but the performance was not for them. Seldom did the performance embrace the present, or a singular present at least; the spatial dimensions of the room were likewise pushed: The pair would climb into the upper corners of the room like moths towards a lamp. Blinds shut and opened, and objects placed in nooks previously unnoticed.
Sand works its way in, held by the fibres that
Undressed, the elastic relaxes and the sand remains
Emptied out of an old shoe
Queerness is characterised as a 'warm illumination of a horizon imbued with potentiality' in José Esteban Muñoz's Cruising Utopia2. It is the rejection of the here and now, turning instead to the then and there. Ultimately it is a ceaseless negation of the present, a drawing from the past to imagine an alternate future. Utopia is not about arrival but instead about making home in hopeful indeterminacy. To trust and believe so deeply in something ephemeral—and unseeable. What’s invisible cannot be seen. The unseeable holds more hope; it may be found and enacted, and perhaps somewhere it already is/has been. A more tangible invisibility. Multiple paths towards the future are superimposed on top of each other, all existing beyond seeing. To make home within the indeterminacy of superposition allows new worlds to be imagined, in which desires and charged yearnings can be enacted3.
Illés and Collee conjured a performative quality that pulled from the past to evoke, and gesture towards, a futurity beyond the here and now. The word 'saudade' comes to mind: a melancholic longing for a beloved something, the love that remains. Traces, sands, hauntings imbued with yearning. Assembled footage, read-out conversations, repeated actions, and an ensemble of found objects. The performance layered these traces within each other, blurring memory and desire, creating worlds and sanctuaries within a conjured-up indeterminacy.
The re-performing of actions, bodies, text conversations and pop-song arias is never completed. Re/enacting, re/creating, re/imagining these traces invoke a performance that is drenched in, and yearning for, futurity.
Within the sand lies red ribbon filings from the bed which
We spend an awful lot of time
Waiting so may as well prepare it
In advance by taking a pair of scissors and peeling
The re/performing of utopian desire and hope gestures through and beyond exhaustion, metal-spring imprints, grief, pain, and physical space. In rejecting a singular space-time so insistently, the lines between pain, hope, and pleasure become blurred. In Illés and Collee’s performance, the act of scraping red paint off the bed frame with a pair of scissors stuck out to me. The noise, jarring at first, soon felt commonplace. Red paint spirals fell like ribbons, mixed with the sand underneath the bed like washed-up sea debris. This un/familiarity was un/comfortable. Why would this bed need to be scraped clean? This act opened a portal to another possibility, one where desire and care take a different form. In peering through this frame, this performance drew attention to the frayed edges of our world, an unveiling. Our 'world; is just one of many potentials. The longer that these portals—potentials—are held open, the more our ontological knowledge of the world is uprooted, and ephemeral, indeterminate worlds beyond can seep in through the cracks.
The paint tends to land in patterns
In the sand until the detritus makes its way in
To a bag which gets filled
The implications of writing a piece like this troubled me initially – would its publishing be complicit in cementing this work inside a singular time/space, an unavoidable permanency? Sensing a problematic, if not reductive, inflexible reliance on photography and writing within archives, which can often feel deeply static, I felt a duty to allow Remember Me Remember Me to keep existing within the indeterminate ephemeral world it had built.
Working within a frame with deep associations and material limitations doesn’t mean we can’t still gesture towards an elsewhere. Although we can’t yet enter the portals we open, that doesn’t stop whatever they hold from seeping their way into our world. Two things can exist on top of each other, and both be true. Illés and Collee, too, gesture towards portals, offering glimpses into worlds of yearning and desire, charged with potentiality. These fired kernels haunt the spaces we inhabit and re/orient our associations with the world.
With sand and traces that pour
The day I attended the performance, I felt this charge even before the pair entered the space. It held a sense of in-progress, a happening, a leaving in a hurry The assembled items held just as much memory and insistence as the artists themselves. Illés and Collee wrestled with a sharp spring mattress, the same mattress wrestling with them in return. Leaving imprints on bodies and grazes across feet.
Even without their bodies in the room, an aliveness traced the space beyond the performance. The atmospherics had been altered, or perhaps haunted. Perhaps in attuning ourselves to these traces, we become more capable of building maps and portals to other worlds.
Traces that pour out
Through the holes we knew were always there
Normative orientations are built on a series of lines that have been lived on, trampled across, and cemented in flat tarmac4. Swanston Street, a world with a singular choreography.
Remember Me Remember Me redirected these associations, drawing overlapping maps to portals imbued with futurity. Witnessing the space in action, assumed associations between the items in the performance and their uses were altered. Queer, temporal, and dis/re/orienting performance has the potential to rewire our connections with the world, and provide a glimpse into infinite new ones, superimposed on top of each other. The re/figuration of bodies and objects gestures beyond the gallery into the minds, untied shoelaces, and sandy shoes of those who visited.
Charlie Lee
Charlie Lee is a designer, artist, and theatre maker working on unceded Wurundjeri land. They use costume and material-led processes to explore modes of queer futurity and indeterminacy, particularly in devised, movement based, and community driven works. Centring trans* and ecological lenses, they build speculative worlds that erode hegemonic forms of knowledge, temporality and identification.